Book Thirty.

Title: New Moan
Author: Stephfordy Mayo
Summary: Heffa Lump is just a typical, pale and interesting seventeen-year-old. But then she moves to Spatula and meets Teddy Kelledy, an impossibly gorgeous boy who eats rare meat, is super-strong and never goes out in the sunlight. Could he - just maybe - be a vampire? (Hint: totally.) A tale of first love, painful longing and even more painful pointy teeth, New Moan is a hilarious parody of the phenomenon that is Stephenie Meyer's Twilight saga.
Genre: Romance, Humour, Parody
Time Started: 23rd May, 9:50am (ish)
Time Ended: 23rd May, 2:00pm (ish)
Page Count: 272
Age Rating: 13+
Warning: Mature themes/conversation/topics/etc.
Appeal Rating: 9/10.

I bought this book yesterday, and I can safely say that it was worth the money. I absolutely loved this book. As @loupie said on Twitter, "This book is brilliant. It somehow manages to take everything we all hate about Twilight and make it funny." Side-splittingly so, I'd say. Now, I'm not usually a fan of comedic books/crack!fics/parodies because the writers try too hard to be funny that you end up rolling your eyes instead of laughing. However, as I dislike Twilight so much, I couldn't pass up the oppurtunity and bought it immediately - I do not regret it. The humour in this book is so natural, as if someone who dislikes it was merely talking about Twilight and mimicking the characters.

Speaking of which, the names and places were hilarious, too. Heffa Lump (Bella), Joe Cahontas (Jacob), Justin Case (Michael), Chump Lump (Charlie), Spatula (Forks), Port D'angerous (Port Angeles), Sunnytown (Phoenix) ... you just can't help but laugh.

I love how it connects and changes parts from each of the books, along with including original parts that aren't seen in the books, too. It's a nice combination, proving to the reader that no, the author didn't just copy the scenes and fix them up. S/he worked over this parody, thought about it deeply, considered what parts to include and what not.

I recommend this to everyone over the age of thirteen, whether you're a fan of the books or not. It's really enjoyable (: